As far as I can tell (from comments) is that sharpUpdate is not working. Bad times.
Unfortunately I have lost the source for this some time ago, therefore there will be no updates to it unless I plan to code it from scratch again. Which is not likely!
Sorry about this guys, if I can program / find a quick fix for the app then I will make a post about it.
Learn from this to always make a backup of a backup, because old eHDDs tend to just, y’know, die.